Saturday, 1 October 2011

More Tales From The Convent

Once upon the same time at the convent......

lots of very funny things happened. 
I really want to share these things with you all. Hopefully your mind can imagine these truly funny situations and make you smile and even laugh.
In my first lot of tales from the convent I didn't introduce one very strong little character. Her name was Sister C. She was a very stoic character with a very 'set in her way' personality. She was at one time the house manager of our cottage. She liked things to be run 'just so' and didn't like to move off the beaten to speak.
We were all young girls who were fresh with positive ideas and had boundless energy to share with these little ones and loved to put new ideas out there for discussion.
One by one each idea was quickly knocked on the head and pushed back down just like a child's pop up toy.
Let me say that she had  a heart of gold and those children absolutely worshipped her. She was their Mother in a lot of ways and her strictness worked very well with their needs. She was respected by them and truly loved.

SO....Here is the funny bit,
Well one fine day Sister C had taken the night off and wasn't due back at the house until later that afternoon.  Another friend of mine who I worked with at the time and her co worker were pushing some of the little ones on the swing......
They were all having a lovely time in the sun and the children were really enjoying themselves.  The queue on the swing was getting longer, so one of the co workers noticed that Sister C had hung her washing on the clothesline and amongst her things they spotted a girdle.  With a wink these two fun filled girls knew just what to do.  In a flash they added some more pegs to the item and holding onto one of the little ones gently they hoisted her up into Sister C's girdle. was a mighty strong piece of equipment. It came to be a wonderful swing !!  Supporting the little one they carefully pushed her backwards and forwards. The  little one was squealing with delight and had a grin from ear to ear.

All was going well until....
BANG !   the back gate of the cottage swung open and closed.
Time stood still and the two workers were sure that their hearts ceased to beat for a moment.  It could only be one person and she wasn't due in yet........
Oh yes it was her !!! !
With her shoes clicking on the cement path, Sister C came storming down towards them.
The pair were trying ever so quickly to take the child out of the 'restraint'. Pegs were flying everywhere and nervous giggling had been replaced with cold sweats.
Sister C simply stopped, blushed, looked at the whole crazy scene and stormed inside the cottage.
The co workers gently placed the child down on the grass to play and then the laughter erupted from their souls. It bubbled out of them like water in a bubbling brook.  Tears  streamed down their faces as they relived the moment. The look on the sister's face was priceless !
A short time later, Sister C quietly pushed the washing trolley out to the clothesline, carefully folded her clothes and quietly left the scene of the crime. Not a word was muttered. Well when you think about it, what could she possibly say ?
Not my own personal story but I laughed  to my very core when these two workers shared this funny tale with me. 

Another day at the convent....
I was travel training a young little miss. She was a very strong and very large miss and had a similar very determined mind to Sister C.  My challenge was to teach her how to walk home from  school safely. She could hold a conversation and happily chattered along the way. Each afternoon I would walk the distance to her school to collect her and then we would walk back to the cottage together.

WELL , this one day I had been out shopping for the cottage and I ran out of time to walk to the school to collect her. It was close to school finishing time and one of my co workers offered me a lift to the school. Happy and relieved I very gratefully accepted her offer.  Racing  out the door however I notice that her car wasn't out the front. She had ridden her motorbike that day !!  Heavens above !! 
Anybody who knows me will tell you that Miss Melanie in her long frilly skirts and pretty handbags would not do well on a motorbike......
Oh....My.....Goodness......surely not !!!!

Oh yes !!! Well what choice did I have ?  In an instant my lacy skirt was hitched up into my underpants and I was hanging on in terror with some massive red motorbike helmet on.  Anybody in an hours radius would have heard the shrieks of terror coming from my mouth all through the quiet leafy streets.
Eventually I begged my friend to stop......with sweat and tears pouring down my cheeks and knuckles red from grabbing onto my friends jacket.  The motorbike stopped, but only to show me her watch. School would be out in two minutes.  Oh for goodness sakes !!! hail Mary Mother of God came out of my mouth and I wasn't even Catholic....
After a few words and promises of treating her to a free lunch the next day, my friend and I came to a deal........
We both pulled out helmets back on, she carefully turned the motorbike up onto the footpath and at a snails pace we rode through the streets "on the footpath" at the slowest speed possible.  It would have been quite the scene really ! I kept my eye out for the police and she made sure pedestrians were no where in dangers way.
and so there it dangerous life !! riding on the footpath of a quiet leafy suburb, frilly skirt tucked into underpants and handbag tucked safely under my arm, wind NOT in my hair and not a peep out of my mouth.  There I stayed for the remaining 4 blocks until we reached the school.  With a smile and a roll of her eyes my friend waved and shook her head. The bike turned back onto the road at she rode away.

I never did live that day went down in history. The day Miss Melanie rode the motorbike like the dare devil that she wasn't ! 

I did live to see the rest of the day out. The walk home was pleasant. My little miss friend was a happy companion and apart from my legs feeling like jelly I felt very happy to be walking on the earth amongst the leaf litter on the streets and listening to the birds sing.

AND I never did leave it so late again to leave for afternoon pickup at the school !

                                         The End

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